I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
