im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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