I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
