just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
