she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
