My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
