Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
