He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
