I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
