you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
