Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
