how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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