Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
