you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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