jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
