just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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