How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
