Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
