i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
