uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
