It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
birth control should be required to get into college
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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