I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
