i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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