I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
