I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
