tequila makes me forget i have legs
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
