True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
