I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
