i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
