he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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