Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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