people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
