Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
