He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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