yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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