I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
