sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
