i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
