he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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