I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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