he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
