And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
