Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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