Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
