You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
