hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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