Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
