return my video game
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
