I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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