just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
