I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
