You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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