As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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